Bluey

Meet Bluey.

Bluey is my stand-in while I learn a bit of photography. Her real name is Bluella Grinonnastik. She doesn't care for the moniker Bluey. The Grinonnastik family is still known in the modelling world. Ms. Grinonnastik would one day like to make it to the big leagues, like her younger sister who appeared on the Bon Jovi album Have a Nice Day.

Bluella is slender at the top and broad at the bottom. It's not a BBL, or so she says. She is a little taller than I am though, piling on to my insecurities with every photo we take. She insists it's the wheels, but I know she's just trying to placate me. When I told her I was writing this, she wanted to make it known that she has no bad side. And honestly, she is more photogenic than I am. Or as Bluey would say, “even a shit photographer could make me look good.” Whatever the fuck that means.

As you can see, she is getting quite old and wrinkly. But that doesn't stop her from pursuing her goals and dreams. To be honest, I think she has a little Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard thing going on. You didn't hear this from me, but I hear she draws her own eyebrows. She doesn't travel on commercial airlines anymore after that one time they asked her to step on a scale. Bluella Grinonnastik won't tolerate the disrespect.

But working with Bluey has been great! She's very agreeable and easy to work with, as long as I “don't move her around like she's luggage.” She's teaching me a lot since I started and will refuse to shoot in bad lighting. She's silent and patient, and genuinely has resting model face.
Which is useful, because she rarely approves of my work.