Hangry

On hour 32 of a 48 hour fast.
I'm not particularly hungry, but I do have hungry brain.
I ask myself "Why do I do this?" every time I fast.

I like:

• The physiological reset - especially after putting my aging body through hell.
• The control I have over my body - like shifting from auto-pilot to manual.
• Missing food, and noticing my cravings - because I can be a glutton sometimes.
• The lightheaded, hyper-aware daze of a high - gives me a sense of a chemical high I miss sometimes.
• How I look when I've fasted - skin tight, veiny, and muscular definition.
• Observing what my body reaches for instead of food - like my vape, or a movie, or food porn, or just regular porn.
• "Eating" food through smells and feeling texture - the smell of peanut butter is especially intoxicating despite the fact I don't eat it anymore.
• How my skin feels - the fasts reset any flares and bring things back to baseline.
• Giving and learning what my body needs - electrolytes and water.

I don't like:

• When the need for food distracts from my activities - I guess that's what being hangry is.
• The dry pasty feeling in my mouth past 24 hours - like I had my head outside the window of a moving car. Yuck.
• The slow passage of time - I'm literally counting the hours when I do these things.
• Meeting people - during long fasts the need for a distraction becomes more anxious.

I guess I needed to have all of this written down for it to make sense. I do enjoy these regular fasts. But for now this list remains unfinished.

Fuck me, we're still in hour 32.